It’s been a few months now since I’ve been gone and most nights I wake up with something on my mind that I feel like I need to write down. Generally I fall back to sleep and don’t remember again until another night, but recently, my old Rosemary neighbors have taken up that space in my brain.
I have been back in LA for a few weeks and haven’t ventured down to say hello. It’s mostly because the trauma that I experienced there was just too much for any person and I’m scared that the flashbacks will return if I am near the triggers. But having said that, I wish that I had the strength and courage to go. The night that Tommy died in particular, I don’t know what I would’ve done without the support of that neighborhood. They were on my doorstep immediately when I came out of the house, following Tommy on the gurney. They wrapped their arms around me and told the police officer that they’d take care of me. I went to the hospital and when I returned home, they were there. Waiting in my living room just so that I wouldn’t be alone. They said prayers over me and just sat in my living room while I was in shock and needing to make phone calls.
It all feels very surreal now, and honestly, I’ve been shown such an overwhelming amount of support and kindness that it almost feels strange not to thank everyone who showed up for those weeks following, but if you are a neighbor on Rosemary, and you’re reading this, please know that you will forever hold a special place in my heart. And if you know a neighbor who isn’t online much, please pass on my sincere appreciation. I may not be brave enough on this trip to visit, but not for any reason other than my own fears.
All my love to you and to anyone who’s fortunate enough to live in such a special place.
Our last day on Rosemary ❤️
