I think constantly of all of the people, some I know, most I don’t, who are in fear for someone around them who suffers from addiction.  I know you.  I know that fear.  The fear that you live with every moment of every day.  Are they home?  Are they safe?  Are they breathing?  Are they alive? Or where are they?  Why aren’t they responding to texts?  Finding things in their possession that you don’t understand.  Foil, spoons, straws, usb looking things, vapes, baggies, trash in the bottom of the backpack.  There are so many things that I wish I’d understood.  So very many red flags.  

I’m in a different position now.  When all of this was going on with Tommy, I had to be cautious.  It was his story and God, I hoped that he’d live to tell it from another viewpoint.  But now, he can’t tell it.  Now it’s my story.  My story of losing a child to an accidental overdose.  

I’ve learned so much that I never knew needed to be learned.  Part of being vocal about what happened to Tommy is that I truly would never wish this pain on another human and I hope that in being honest, it can help another family or another person.  Some of this is hard to hear, but it should be known.  If you are already dealing with an addict, you may know some of it, but I didn’t.  I learned because I had too.  I wish I’d known some of these things earlier.

• Many lethal overdoses are caused by drugs that are purchased on the streets and laced with fentanyl

• Most over the counter drug tests do not test for fentanyl - these tests, specific for fentanyl can be ordered on Amazon

• Most street opiates are often crushed up Tylenol or some over the counter meds, laced with fentanyl - these are referred to as synthetic opiates and do not show up on most over the counter drug tests

• When Tommy was taken to the ER the first time, the drug tests used at the hospital did not test for fentanyl and he came back negative for opiates, although he told us that he’d taken this before he overdosed.  They sent him home with me that day and he had to detox at home for a week.  It was a painful process and if they’d tested for fentanyl, I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t have sent him home that day.

If you have a feeling someone you know is using and they haven’t tested positive, I would encourage you to dig a little deeper - get a fentanyl test.  You may save a life.

Of course, there’s more but if you are that person, please know, you are not alone.  I see you.  I know that pain.  You’re not alone.  Feel thankful that it is not your story to share, but be proactive so that you won’t have to tell mine.

A friend sent this article over this morning….  It hit close to home.  There’s so much shame that an addict feels.  I saw it in Tommy.  It’s literally heartbreaking.  I think he started using after his worst concussion to dull the pain that he felt and it escalated over time.  My heart is broken.  I wish that I could’ve saved him.