8 Months | Fentanyl Poisonings
Friday, February 12th will be 8 months that Tommy has been gone. Seems a lifetime and just like it was yesterday. The part that feels craziest is that we are approaching 1 year. Almost one year without Tommy. Often, I still can’t believe it and I have to remind myself that this is real life, not just a nightmare Every day of every month I miss him desperately. Yesterday, suddenly I was reminded of his laugh and a specific phrase he used to use. It just popped into my head and it brought me sorrow and joy. Both are possible at the same time. Some days are great, but some are not. Some moments I forget, but then I remember. Because I loved, I also grieve. Many things are triggers for me and this week, the news was full of them.
When I was young, I remember a mom of one of my friends was very involved in MADD (mothers against drunk driving). At the time, I guess I couldn’t understand why she was so dedicated to the cause but now I get it. I didn’t know anyone at the time who was a victim of a drunk driver, but now, having lost my son to fentanyl, I understand where her drive came from. I just want others to know the dangers because I can’t bear to know someone else who will have to endure this pain. I’ve included a lot of links below and I completely understand if you tune out and don’t click on any of them. It’s overwhelming and sad and honestly, easier to just bury your head, but it’s important to educate yourself and your kids.
The news of Dr. Laura Berman’s son felt like a punch in the stomach, over and over. It took me back to early summer right after Tommy died when my flashbacks were debilitating. This week I had to take a little time off of social media and take some deep breaths. While I don’t know her personally, I do know the pain of walking into a bedroom and finding your child not breathing and no longer there. It is an immeasurable sense of loss, physical and emotional and there’s truly no way to describe it. Watching her on the NBC spot regarding her son, snapchat and fake pills laced with fentanyl, I just wished I could take that pain away from her and from all of the parents who are going through similar situations. I’m immensely thankful that she’s decided to be vocal about what happened, because, while I can be vocal, my reach is not nearly as far. I hope that by her being vocal, someone will pay attention to what is happening with the Mexican drug cartels bringing in fentanyl and killing our children.
While I had assumed the killer of Tommy was fentanyl, I only recently actually found out for certain that this was what killed him. I don’t know how he got it. Maybe it was snapchat, maybe it wasn’t. Who knows? I do know that it makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to know the answer to the autopsy. Tommy is gone and I can’t bring him back, but the truth is that after reading what I’ve read and hearing from the community which has been traumatized by this, we are truly at the beginning of a frightening trend of many more dying of fentanyl poisoning. The numbers will keep going up and it will be likely that everyone will know someone.
Here are links to some information that is out there. Of course, this is just a tiny sampling, but any information is better than none. Please talk to your kids and get educated.
Ending in May 2020, there were 81,230 overdose deaths in the US in a 12 month period - a record high. Deaths attributed to synthetic opioids, mainly fentanyl, increased 38% nationwide, but 98% in western states. (follow link for more information)
Nonprofit SONG FOR CHARLIE founded by my friends Ed & Mary Ternan in honor of their son Charlie who died in the spring of 2020 after taking a fake Percocet that was actually fentanyl.
Petition to force Snapchat not to allow drug dealers and drug deals on their platform
For those interested in learning more about fentanyl and why it’s now the number one killer of Americans under the age of forty nine, watch this:
