Sending Condolences | a project from the heart

** Update **

Since posting this, I’ve decided to take down the website sending condolences. It just became a little too much for me to manage, but I do still have all of those messages, and at some point, will create something with them… 🤍

*****

Immediately after Tommy died, I began receiving messages from people. Messages came via Facebook, instagram, texts, emails, handwritten notes and voicemails. The number of ways in which we are accessible made keeping track of the messages nearly impossible. I was honestly overwhelmed with everything at the time, but I knew in the back of my mind that I had to save all of the messages somehow. People had sent such loving words that I couldn’t bear to delete them.

With that thought in mind, I also knew that I needed to do something with those messages and I am hopeful that this project I’ve been working on over the last year or so, can help someone. It’s my very small way of paying it forward.

I’ve gone through most of the messages that I received in digital format and have taken out any names (besides those of my own family) and personal details and have created a website to help others with what to say when they can’t come up with the words themselves. I haven’t included any of the handwritten messages that I received because they are all stored away in a beautiful box that I haven’t had the courage to open since I’ve moved. Someday maybe I will.

Before I was on the recieving end of these messages, I admit to once or twice googling “what to say in a sympathy card” or “what to say when someone dies.” Most of what I found felt dated and very ‘hallmark-esque’. Nothing about what I came across felt current or usable.

I know that words are hard to come by in these horrible situations but I was struck by the lovely messages I received. They aren’t all perfect, but I do know that they came to me from a place of love and caring. People want to help but it isn’t always comfortable and people fear that they may say the wrong thing. My hope with this new website is that when the words don’t come easy, you find some inspiration from others and give the gift of care to others by reaching out and sending condolences.

In all honesty, I’ve been a little bit hesitant to share this for fear of it being taken out of context but I believe in timing and so I’m sharing it today. Tomorrow I have a reading with a medium and I’m hopeful that Tommy will come through and tonight I shared the site with a friend and she said she wished she’d seen it a few days ago. Those were my signs. The universe telling me that it’s time to put aside my fears and share it. If you take a look and get anything out of it, it will have been worth it for me. Please share it if you think it will help someone else. You can find it here: www.sendingcondolences.com

xoxo

Stephanie