Sunset Magazine triggers a memory
Today a friend sent me a link to an online article on the Sunset Magazine site (published on my birthday) where she saw my name listed under one of the photos used in the article. It was fun to see the image and my name under it although it feels like a lifetime ago that I spent time at that house. It’s an incredible place in Joshua Tree that I was fortunate to photograph. Seeing the image reminded me that after I first photographed it in June, 2019, I sat down and wrote the piece below. Feels like the dates aligned and wanted to share…
In June of this year, I went out to Joshua Tree for a job. I headed out midday on a Thursday and planned to spend the night in the home that I was photographing and then would be coming home on Friday late morning.
Both of my kids were home doing their own thing – working and going to summer school and they were going to stay alone that night. Steve was up in Montana doing his thing. It didn’t really occur to me to give anyone my exact location because I’m always available via cell phone and honestly, after being alone/single for so many years, I just am not used to anyone needing to know where I’ve gone.
I arrived in Joshua Tree and met the owners – nice, young couple, had just built the home and were listing it on Airbnb, which is why they needed photos. The place was beautiful, and in the middle of a neighborhood. Felt pretty safe. I’d been to JT once before to work – that time I didn’t go alone, thankfully, because that house was so far off the grid that it I was glad I wasn’t alone..
I got to work taking pictures and left my phone in my purse. I hadn’t let Steve or my kids know that I’d arrived – my bad. I worked from about 3-8:30 that night. We stopped only when we finally decided that we’d gotten everything we could. At that point, I finally pulled my phone out of my purse and saw multiple missed calls from Steve, Peter and Tommy along with many texts asking if I was ok.
This is when it hit me. For so long I’ve gone through life solo, as a single mom with my boys. Something had shifted; I was now part of a tribe. I actually have people. People that worry about me. And my people include an amazing partner who my kids love as well, my kids, who of course I adore, and I also can count his girls as my people. It was overwhelming to say the least. When I didn’t answer texts or calls, Steve had reached out to my kids to see if they’d heard from me. And that’s what started the ball rolling.
I think that for many, this small gesture wouldn’t have made a mark. It’s just a regular day to day part of being in a family. I realize this, but think that’s why it meant so very much to me.
For so long, I’d been the caretaker, not really having to be accountable to anyone. This just felt the part of life as a single parent. Of course, I’m accountable to my kids, and I knew that if I was in trouble they’d worry about me, but they’re teenagers and most teens are pretty much concerned with their own lives.
Once I finally talked to my kids and Steve, I broke down crying. I was so very overwhelmed with gratitude. I know that I have many people in my life that care about me, but this was different. This was something I couldn’t remember feeling. Every time I think about it, I cry.
It’s hard for me to be vulnerable. I have a lot on my plate all the time but this obvious gesture of love coming from the people I love most meant the world to me.
Given all that has happened in my life since June 2019, I’m thankful that I kept this writing because it gives me a glimpse of life then and the things that were and are important to me.
