There are names for what binds us

There are names for what binds us

mother and son

single mom, youngest son

grieving mom, lost son.

These are the ties that we hold on to

the identities that we carry with us.

This pain from losing is palpable

the quickness of breath when the last moments are remembered

the color of the skin

the lack of breath

the lack of warmth in the body

the lack of your soul.

This grieving is not for the faint of heart

getting through the days is all I can do

I look to the sky and watch the birds soar

I know that these ties are still strong

you’re still here, with me.

This is still my identity

I know that the grief will form it’s own scar on my soul

in my life

in everything that I do.

I will wear that scar as a badge of courage and honor

honored that you were put in my life

albeit for a shorter time than I ever would’ve chosen

what were the lessons that you were meant to learn

and did I do my job?

These identities that we hold on to… Tommy’s mom

I will forever treasure that this is part of the scar of my life

if it were a physical mark, I know it would be a dagger over my heart which I’d wear proudly

it would almost make life easier

people would know when they saw that scar that I’ve lost you 

my child.

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